The fear of judgement
Why is it that our fear of judgement so often holds us back in achieving a life that we love?
I’ve long held the belief that men musn’t see mess and clutter in the same way that women do, many seem to have this ability to just step over it without a flicker of annoyance. I was interested to stumble across a piece of sociological research busting this myth and concluding that in fact both women and men see mess and clutter equally.
The key difference was that women were concerned about being JUDGED by their peers and it was this that was the key driver of their need to tidy up. When they weren’t able to it added to their stress and anxiety levels.
I have to say I think there is some truth in this, but I also know for me I feel relaxed and calm when all is in order in my home.
I was also intrigued when carrying out some market research for my business that many women had considered using a Professional Organiser but were concerned that they may be judged by the Organiser on what they saw and that this put them off letting them in to help. I have to say this couldn’t be further from the truth, the key driver for me is to provide help and relief for the person I am working for. The type of people that are drawn to this type of work tend to have incredibly high levels of emotional intelligence and it is this which enables them to do this work which is at times incredibly emotionally challenging.
I know that history (when many women stayed at home and assumed the job of housekeeper) and societal pressures has a lot to play in this, but I do feel like we are not doing ourselves any favours here.
People who judge us as individuals do so as they are driven by their own lack of clarity on who they are and what they want out of their own lives. If you can get clear on what you need to do to achieve the life that you want to lead then others judgement of you will become much less relevant as your own inner self belief will drown this out.
I know for years I held myself back for fear of being judged and that is a place I hope never to go back to. If you know you are holding yourself back from getting the help you need, the time to recognise this is NOW and start making a change, life is so short, you can do this !